Five Times Thor Kisses Someone Under Mistletoe
by Unknownnobody32
Summary: It's Christmastime again and while Thor has been adjusting to many of our holiday customs, he's surprised to learn one tradition that has its history in Asgard. Introduced to earth's interpretation of mistletoe, he decides to "do as the Romans do," but soon he finds himself conveniently in its presence almost everywhere around the tower!
1. Pepper Potts

**A/N: Always wanted to try my hand at the **_Five Times _**Format , so when I got a great idea while Christmas decorating, I knew I had to go for it.**

**This is the 1st (almost introductory) chapter that I ended up rewriting after researching and finding out Mistletoe was actually a part of Norse Mythology. Who knew? Regardless, I still took some liberties here & there, especially since most parts of the Norse Myth wouldn't line up with our Marvel Cinematic Universe canon.  
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**PS. And yes, I can't stop writing Thor in my fics. I think I have a problem.**

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Looking for her billionaire boyfriend, Pepper bursts into Tony's workshop with folders in hand; however, she didn't expect to find the Thunder God there instead.

"Oh, good evening, Thor. Sorry to barge in. I thought Tony was in here and was hoping to ambush him into signing some documents."

"Hello Lady Pepper." Thor greets, bowing politely, "Anthony left a while ago, though he said he would return shortly. I am only present because he requires my assistance in harnessing lightning's power."

"Well, in that case, I'll stick around." Says Pepper, laying the folders on a nearby table. "So are you enjoying the holiday season so far? I know you must be excited about Darcy and Jane's visit." She asks conversationally.

"Indeed I am! Though I have spent few years on earth, it is always a pleasure to experience the holiday of Christmas with my friends and especially to share it with Jane." Thor says with solemn appreciation.

"Well, it's wonderful that you get to take part in our culture!"

"Yes! And I have learned much about Midgardian festivities in my time here. Nonetheless, I have recently become aware that there is a certain holiday symbol we are familiar with in Asgard as well."

"Really? Which one?"

Thor walks around the table and nods toward the ceiling, "This branch here. On Asgard the plant represents peace and love. Is the significance of such décor similar for your people?"

Pepper steps closer to stand next to him and follows his gaze upward to behold mistletoe taped haphazardly to the ceiling fan's pull chain.

"Oh… this is embarrassing." Pepper says, flushing red.

Thor scowls, suddenly looking suspicious. "Why, has it been interpreted to mean something offensive?"

"No no! Nothing like that! Mistletoe is…well—Wait! I can't believe I'd forgotten. Dr. Selvig once told a story about mistletoe involving your mother's teardrops and a disguised Loki and…" Pepper narrows her eyes as she tries to recall details.

"Yes, yes. I briefly read the tale in one of his myth books." Thor dismisses. "Know the majority of the legend _is_ nothing but a myth as far as my family's involvement is concerned; but what remains true is that mistletoe stands for peace and love, despite its poison nature."

"Oh, I see." Pepper sounds disappointed to hear the real account was less romanticized.

"But what of its meaning here on earth? Does it signify the same elements?"

Again Pepper becomes visibly flustered. "Uh, almost. Our Christmas tradition says if two people are caught standing under mistletoe, they … they have to kiss."

Pepper blurts out the last four words and spares the god a glance.

"Ah, very fitting! A kiss is a perfect embodiment of love." Thor comments, eying the leaves with new-found curiosity.

Then after mentally measuring the distance between himself, Pepper, and the mistletoe, he declares, "I shall like to partake in such a tradition!"

"What?! No listen, we don't have to …" Her words die in midair when she sees Thor lean down toward her.

Her heart catches in her throat; she's thinking he's going to go for her lips. But he surprises her, instead delivering a soft kiss on both her cheeks.

"Aw Thor, you're such a sweetheart!" She coos, patting a perfectly manicured hand against his bearded jaw.

Tony picks this moment to walk in on them.

"Hey Hot Stuff! You putting moves on my lady while I'm gone?" Stark tries to look stern, but ends up sounding tongue-in-cheek.

Thor, clearly unfazed, just chuckles as he answers, "Nay. Your lovely Pepper was only informing me of this realm's use of mistletoe."

"Right - about that Tony- did you have these put up?" Pepper questions, motioning to the offending object. "Because I've seen several of them tackily on display around the tower."

"It wasn't me! Who do we five dudes have to kiss around here anyways, except 'tasha?" Tony scoffs.

Pepper gives him one of her looks before passing by to recollect her folders.

"_And_ you!" Tony quickly amends, "Of course _I'd_ wanna kiss you."

He catches her by the wrist before she could slip past him and pulls her in to nuzzle her neck.

Thor smiles at her uncharacteristic giggling and decides to give them some privacy.


	2. Natasha Romanoff

Thor was seated at the kitchen island in the Dining Hall. He waited for Steve to locate the cheesecake he was rummaging for some distance away at the fridge.

Once Natasha comes in lugging a wooden crate full of chinaware, Thor glances to the entry.

With Steve preoccupied, he springs up and takes the box from her hands, placing it on the banquet table.

"Thanks." Nat says, raking her thumbnail over what could be a splinter in her palm.

"Of course, do not mention it. What are those?"

"Plates… fancy plates actually. They were in the lobby. Pepper had them sent from storage, cleaned and touched up. She thought they'd be nice for all of us to eat Christmas dinner on this month ."

Thor peers through the plastic wrapping at one which has illustrations of holly framing its border.

"They are very beautiful." He admires.

"Well, according to Pepper, there's actually some more elaborate designs near the bottom." She explains.

Nat steps around the crate on Thor's side and proceeds to lift a stack of dinnerware from out of it. He hovers over her, giving his full attention.

"Ah here," Natasha takes one out of its wrappings from the stack underneath and holds it up to the lighted chandelier above them. "Just look at the detail on that landscape."

When she hears Thor clear his throat awkwardly, she lowers the plate—which is when she notices the Mistletoe strung directly over them on the tiers of the chandelier.

Natasha snickers. "I guess you're up to speed on this tradition."

"I am." Thor confirms.

Natasha wordlessly sets the plate down and looks at him, waiting.

The demigod inspects the assassin with uncertainty, and because it _is_ her, he settles for reaching for a hand in hopes to kiss her knuckles.

Predicting his move, Natasha snatches the hand away. "Oh no you don't!" She scolds mildly.

Thor stares at her puzzled, but Natasha smiles and continues. "You're not getting off _that_ easy."

She then grabs him by the shirt to tug him down to her level and plants a kiss on top of his nose.

"Merry Christmas, Thor." Natasha tells him, reigning in a laugh.

"And likewise, Merry Christmas, Lady Natasha."

Thor still looks a bit bewildered when he returns the sentiment.

"I think someone ate the whole damned cheesecake 'cause I can't find it anywhere," The two hear a voice break in from the far corner.

"Yet I _did _find some fruit cake and apple …" When Steve finally unburies his head from the refrigerator, he sees Natasha standing on the opposite side of the room with Thor. "Oh, Natasha! Hi. How long have you been in here?"

"Long enough to know that fridge is probably warm by now. But look no further, Cap, the cake in mention is in my own fridge. Clint brought it over the other night and we had a few slices. I'll run up and get it for you."

Steve looks positively thrilled. "Thanks a bunch, 'tasha."

"Yea sure!" Nat calls out, already leaving through the doorway.

Thor finally turns around facing Steve. "I am most eager to try this delicacy called cheesecake!"

Steve's eyes widen when he sees Thor head-on and he covers his mouth to stifle his laughter.

Seconds later, Tony strolls in. He takes one look at what stains Thor's face and tries hard to keep his own straight.

"Ooh, Christmas charades! And_ he's _Rudolph, am I right?" Tony mocks, almost convincingly serious.

Stark's facade is fast to crumble as he starts to crack up at his own joke, pointing at the taller blonde's reddened mark.

Thor simply looks to Steve and deadpans, "Natasha has gotten her rouge on me, hasn't she?"

"Yep." Is all the Captain replies, smirking at the prominent lipstick print on Thor's nose.


	3. Lady Sif

The Warriors Three and Sif were currently visiting Thor's suite at the tower. Hogun, who had taken to Steve, was not present at the moment, choosing to spar with the Captain in Thor's training wing. While Volstagg disappeared in the kitchen and Fandral remained intrigued with the television, Lady Sif had come across a sprig of mistletoe that somehow found its way hanging in Thor's lounge.

Now Sif had it in her hands as he was explaining the meaning it held for mortals.

"So Midgardians instead use mistletoe as an excuse to kiss one another?" She was questioning him.

"No, not an excuse exactly, it is a tradition during their season of Christmas. Think of it more as a game amongst lovers and friends." He clarifies.

"Did someone say 'kissing game?' " Fandral abandons the TV screen to stride over to his two comrades.

Dreading his addition to the conversation, both Thor and Sif keep quiet for fear of encouraging him.

"Hmm, well the mistletoe here isn't very impressive looking. Let me have a look, Sif." Fandral stretches out his hand, showing he wanted to hold it for himself.

She studies him warily- as if she was about to grant him some great power - but eventually she gives up the mistletoe, shrugging at Thor.

When it gets in Fandral's clutches, a look of devilment comes upon him.

Not losing any time, he darts at Sif, holding the sprig above her head. Laughing, he seizes her by the arm and obnoxiously tries to stick his whiskered lips in her face.

Thor hopes for his sake he is only jesting.

Sif promptly bats Fandral away, looking enraged.

"What are we, barbarians!?" She admonishes, yanking the mistletoe away from him. "That is not the proper way to go about it, I am certain!"

Fandral has the decency to look sheepish.

Sif then beams at the Thunderer flirtatiously as she raises the mistletoe over his head. "Thor, be a good gentlemen and show Fandral here how this Midgardian tradition is done."

"Of course, Midlady." Thor accedes.

Offering a smug grin in Fandral's direction, he gently takes Lady Sif's hand and grazes her fingers with a light kiss.

"See, there was no manhandling involved." Sif says at Fandral.

"Well I bloody fail to see the fun of this kissing game if there isn't any manhandling." Fandral remarks, sounding put off at the entire idea.

Together, Thor and Sif shake their heads at him.


	4. Darcy Lewis

"Back from shopping!" Darcy announces, placing her bags on the bar in the Rec Room.

"Welcome back, Darcy. But is Jane not with you as well?" Thor inquiries from his position on the couch.

"Don't worry, Romeo, she outta be right behind me. She thought she left her cell in the car so went back to get it."

"Then I will go down to greet her." Thor says, rising from the sofa.

"No wait! Don't leave yet!" Darcy blurts out, her tone a bit panicked. Thor gives her an odd look so she rectifies, "I mean, you don't _have_ to. I'm sure she's almost here."

Making a quick decision, Darcy dumps out the contents of the shopping bag in front of her.

She motions for Thor. "Besides, I want you to come over here and try some Christmas candy I bought."

Thor changes course and walks toward her, his smile broadening. He's so caught up with picking out a chocolate truffle that he doesn't see Darcy has something hidden behind her back.

"Um Thor, tip your head down for a sec. I think there's snow or somethin' in your hair."

"Snow!? I have been inside most of the afternoon." But he dips his head down to her anyway.

The instant he does so he hears rustling and feels something slip over his hair.

Standing to his full height, he levels Darcy with a disapproving glare. "Darcy, what hast thou placed upon my head?"

"Just a mistletoe headband." She provides nonchalantly, "I've been stringing mistletoe all over this tower in hopes of smooching one of you studly Avengers."

"Those were _yours_?"

"Yep! And it took some extra sneakiness on my part, but now I finally got somebody where I want 'em. So plant a smacker on me, big guy; or risk breaking a Christmas rule!"

Darcy makes an exaggerated show of batting her eyelashes up at Thor.

He barely refrains from rolling his eyes when she puckers her lips out in an almost comical fashion.

"I'm waiting!" She singsongs.

Thor huffs at her impatience, then bends forward and –avoiding her lips- pecks a brief kiss to her forehead.

"Are you quite satisfied, you little minx?" Thor asks, humoring her.

"For now." She admits, her grin cheeky, "Though while we're on the subject, have you seen Cap around? Cuz I have another headband here with his name on it."

As Thor watches Darcy retouch her lip gloss, something tells him only Fandral would appreciate such aggressiveness.


	5. Jane Foster

Shortly afterward, Darcy and Thor hear the annoyance in Jane's voice before they even see her.

"Darce, you almost ran me over trying to get on the elevator before me!" She shouts from somewhere in the hallway.

Darcy grimaces, "My bad."

They finally see Jane come in with her own handful of bags. She's so busy fussing that she bustles past Thor without looking at him. "And then when I catch up to you, you bring to my attention that my phone's missing and tell me I should go make sure it's in the car and not at the mall."

"Well, I was being helpful. I didn't see it in your pocket."

Jane slams her packages on the bar with Darcy's and whips around to face her friend. "Yea, well I went all the way back down and searched the car and it was NOT there. Then I specifically remember having it before you bumped into me in front of the elevator."

Darcy shrugs unapologetically after she removes Jane's phone from her own pocket. "Oh, what do you know? I must have had it all along."

"Thanks, you're a real pal." Says Jane, reclaiming her phone with gritted teeth.

"You're welcome. By the way, here's another free tip: you're ignoring your hunk of man over there." Darcy shoves her thumb in the direction of Thor who'd been watching their exchange with great amusement.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Thor! God, I'm horrible to actually forget to…" Her words falter when she spots him wearing the headband. "Darcy! I warned you against putting that ridiculous thing on him!"

Jane walks up to Thor and rips it off his head.

"Sorry." Darcy mumbles, flipping through the new magazine she'd purchased.

"Just imagine if he forgets and leaves the building like that and one of those starstruck women tries to get her claws on him and..."

She cuts off with a gasp when Thor pulls her in by the waist, though he gives her little chance to react beyond that. He dips her backward, teasingly nibbling on her lower lip before succumbing to passion and kissing her fully.

Jane drops the headband to the floor and clutches Thor by his hair, trying to draw him closer. He hears her muffled moan and fights the urge to lift her up right then and there and have his way with her.

Their make out session goes on for about a minute through which Darcy pretends she's too busy reading to even regard.

When Thor finally pulls away, Jane can only pant breathlessly.

He smiles down at her and takes her hand in his. "You need not worry, my heart. I only have eyes for you."

"Wow…." Is what Jane manages to utter in reply.

Thor chuckles and lets go of her hand.

"Um… Darce?" Jane squeaks.

"Yea?" Darcy glances up from her magazine.

"Maybe the headband isn't such a bad idea after all."

This time Darcy is the one who barely refrains rolling her eyes.


	6. And The One Time He Doesn't

Since Darcy had invited Thor to join her and Jane watching Holiday specials, he happened to be headed for her guest quarters when Clint got on the elevator.

"Hey." Clint acknowledges. He's dressed in full gear and his arrows are strapped over his shoulder.

"Good morning, Barton. Did your mission of SHIELD go well?"

"Sure. Nothing too hectic. I was mostly supervising. Just glad to be back at the Tower before the 25th. I wouldn't miss Christmas dinner for anything. "

"Ah, of course. I too am looking forward to our feast. Almost everyone is making a dish, besides Anthony and I, but I _am_ supplying mead."

"Heh. Well we can't have a holiday meal without your infamous booze, now can we? Just remind me to only drink a spoonful this time, kay?"

Thor booms in laughter, remembering Clint's first very drunken encounter with Asgardian Ale. "A wise request, my friend."

"Man, I'm beat and hungry as hell." Clint declares abruptly.

He tilts his head back and runs fingers through his hair. "Hey, do you know if any of that cheesecake is…."

Clint quiets when he sees the mistletoe dangling over them on the elevator's ceiling panel.

Just as Thor observes what Clint is staring at, the elevator opens on Clint's floor.

The archer catches Thor's eye and they both say nothing for a span of a few seconds.

"Sorry buddy, not happening!" States Barton, finally.

He makes a hasty exit, trampling out the elevator without a second glance at Thor.

As the metal doors slide shut, Thor lets out a sigh in undeniable relief.

This was one traditional Christmas experience he'd _willingly_ miss out on.


End file.
